5 “Free” Things Women Never Owe Any Man, No Exceptions, According to a Dating Coach With 25 Years Experience | Virginia Clark

When you start dating someone new, you want to make the best impression possible. More than anything, you want this amazing man to like you and think you’re amazing.

When you’re excited about a new romance, you may unwittingly change your ways to impress him. Unfortunately, according to research published by the Pew Research Center, we tend to set different expectations for men and women, which means you may feel pressured to behave a certain way to make a good first impression.

You may let your healthy boundaries go (or forget them altogether), but if you don’t maintain your standards early in your relationship, you won’t be able to get them back in the future.

Here are 5 free things women never owe any man, no exceptions:

1. You don’t have to explain to him why you’re not married.

Being interrogated about why you’re “still” single puts you on the defensive. It makes you feel judged and vulnerable. There are very good reasons why you’re single. Stop telling yourself that being married is okay and being single is not. There’s nothing wrong with you, whether you’re single by choice or by chance. And you don’t need to justify what stage of life you’re in.

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2. You don’t owe him intimacy, ever

Just because he wants to have sex with you doesn’t mean you have to. If you feel real or imagined pressure, don’t do it to make him happy (or to please him).

Research from the University of South Carolina has found that women are more likely than men to feel pressured into having sex they don’t want, but remember that dating you and spending money on you doesn’t equate to buying access to your body. Remember that once you’ve given it away, you can’t get it back.

3. You don’t have to be monogamous

If a man wants exclusivity with you, even if he’s not exclusive with you, the answer is no! It’s a simple concept: don’t commit to him any more than he commits to you. When he’s really serious about your relationship, he’ll accept monogamy; if he doesn’t, he’s just not ready.

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4. You should never feel pressured to drink or do drugs with him.

Men who use drugs and drink tend to like company, so he’ll want you to join him. Know what’s best for you, and don’t change your habits or boundaries to please him.

If she says you’re ruining her fun or that you’re a prude, that’s fine; you don’t have to prove that you’re cool. If her drinking or drug use is a problem for you, take it seriously; otherwise, you’ll be playing with fire.

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5. You don’t apologize for being authentically you

If he judges what you eat, what you wear, or how you look… be careful. If he calls your beliefs wrong or stupid, think twice. Don’t make excuses or justify your decisions to a man who doesn’t understand you. Be who you are and be proud.

Hopefully, knowing what you don’t owe a man will remind you of what you DO owe yourself. Respect your boundaries, trust that you know what’s right for you, and most importantly, don’t change who you are for ANYONE (not a man you’re dating or anyone else).

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